Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize