so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
