your room smells of hookers.
And success
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
