Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We don't watch enough power rangers
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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