D3 body, D1 cock
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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