fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
this just has baby written all over it
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
