Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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