Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
