remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
