I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
