I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize