And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize