i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
