That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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