Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
