my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
