he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
