Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
