I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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