Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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