spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
