some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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