Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
