I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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