I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
