dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize