The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
