You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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