I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
