y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
