Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
