I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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