They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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