Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
