How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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