Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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