this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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