We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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