Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i think im in europe. pls send help
So apparently I’m into choking now
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
