He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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