i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
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Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
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Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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