Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
