I need help removing her.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
