I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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