Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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