My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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