She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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