I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have post one night stand depression
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