I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
