I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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