If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize