Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
