I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
