I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
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I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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