My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
