Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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