Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize