you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
