Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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