im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
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I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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