I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
