My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
