What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need to calm my uterus...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
