This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize